Everybody Poops

If the above word makes you feel  uncomfortable at all then this post is really not for you, go make yourself a cuppa and read another one of my amazing posts!!

Poop is rather a hot topic in our household at the moment, trying to get LPV to do it in the toilet where it belongs is proving somewhat problematic, changing underpants full of crap excrement is becoming a daily occurence.

Last night whilst I was having a…erm…personal moment (yes I have openly admitted I poop to the whole of the world-wide web) I had a visitor in the bathroom. The mortifying conversation went as follows

LPV: You doing poo poo’s Mammy

Me: Um yes

LPV: Well done Mammy, if you do poo poo’s on the toilet you get chocolate buttons!! Squeeze out the poo poo Mammy……….SQUEEZE *LPV makes straining face, then runs away*

I finish my…personal moment only to find that an excited LPV so proud of his Mammy’s toilet achievements has gone to get daddy, a reluctant EPD comes into the bathroom. At this point I am beyond mortified and know that there is absolutely NO more air of mystery to our marriage  probably no more passion after this. We all then have to wave goodbye to the personal moment. LPV hugs me and tells me he’s so proud it’s cute but at this point I want to be swallowed up whole but the ground.

We all then go about our business, I jump in the shower as I was going out for a much needed after the last 10minutes drink, I open my eyes after washing my hair to find LPV back.

Me: Hi bubby

LPV: Haha you’re 37 *runs away*

Well that added insult to injury, there is NO point in even trying to forget this happened. Children have an amazing knack of forgetting stuff like “don’t pick your nose” or “you have to share” but you can bet your arse he won’t forget this. This “prime, inappropriate material” for telling Miss Natalie during show and tell at school. I can image it now, we’ll never be able to look each other in the the eye!!!