A letter of apology to my children
I seem to be making so many mistakes with you at the moment so I’m just going to come out and apologise for it all………………………………………………
I’m sorry I didn’t realise that poop obviously belongs all down your legs and on the bathroom floor, I will have strong words with Grandma for teaching me the wrong way of putting it in the toilet.
I’m sorry that I served your dinner to you on a plate I should realise in the future that your lap, hair and floor are far more convenient for you
I’m sorry for brushing you teeth, I totally agree with you dental hygiene is completely overrated
I know I really should have gone to fashion design school as quite clearly I get it wrong ALL the time, t-shirts with raccoons playing football are OUT, one red shoe and one blue shoe is perfect attire for a trip to the supermarket!
Sincere apologies about my mind reading abilities I should have realised and anticipated you changed your mind from a red bowl to a blue bowl
Deeply sorry for wanting to sleep, you wanting your dummy 20,000 times a night is far more important than Mammy & Daddy being able to function properly
I know I will not get any parenting awards for not giving you pancakes everyday for dinner and chocolate milk with your breakfast, I will go to time out and think about the healthy balance dinner I just served you!
With Much love