Sensitivity & Withdrawal

It’s no secret I’m a wee sensitive soul,  I take things to heart, let people get to me, care what they think and cry a lot!!! It’s even worse now I’m preggo, admittedly I have cried as much with this pregnancy as much as i did with LPV. However the bank set me off the other day, Yes you heard right the bank made me cry!! Bastards. You see pregnancy brain made me lock my pin code on my switch card, now at home Halifax just ask me some security question but here…. here they want photo ID, urine samples……………..Ok maybe slight exaggeration but really who carries their passport around with them. I give them my UAE identity card, it’s expired, we go back to the house and get the farking passport. However were late for the hospital baby check up so we put the bank on the back burner.

I’m nervous this pregnancy, far more than last time, this appointment was to get results of my “Combo test” for Downs and Edwards Syndrome, since I’ve had the test I’ve been more and more aware of my age, Yes being 11 months past 35, its sooooooooooold!!

The dutch are not really renowned for their sensitivity or compassion, I find them really hard to deal with so also I’m fired up really to attack anyone who is remotely rude or pushes in front of me in a British polite queue, we check in I sit down, I mention the bank and then it happens………….. Niagara falls in a waiting room full of women who DO NOT cry and are so tough they’ll probably have their babies whilst cycling to do the weekly shop!!

As it happens my midwife was lovely, had great bedside manner and was thorough, we talked about the result which were good, ended the appointment feeling fairly positive about my experience here. I must had mentally blocked out the conversation about my crazy pills, the Dr in Dubai had put me one these particular ones, he had told me they were safe to take during pregnancy. Here, they want me to change them, not because they’re not safe but because they’re not part of protocol, fair enough I have No problem with it. However the conversation of my baby staying in hospital for 48 hours to be “monitored” for drug withdrawal has upset me beyond belief. I know it’s for the best and precaution but what have I don’t to my poor unborn baby. All because I was weak and couldn’t cope with being a Mammy the first time round. I’m going to be one of those Mammies I despised being civil or nice too when I was NICU nurse one of those mammies watching her baby come down from drugs, admitted I’m not taking methadone/heroin but still . We were nice to them because that was our job, not to judge but I couldn’t help it. Are they going to judge me?? Probably, I’m judging myself……………………………………………..

13 thoughts on “Sensitivity & Withdrawal

  1. Momma Mojo says:

    I lived there for a year, probably the biggest learning curve of my life so far. They are hard to deal with for a long time . So sorry you are feeling like that right now & for what you have to go through post birth. xx

  2. kateab65 says:

    Surely you didn’t take the medication because you “couldn’t cope with being a Mammy the first time round”, surely you were given them because you were ill? There is no shame in that. Trust me. I’m sure they won’t do that there if they know what the drugs were for. You’re projecting your own feelings about it onto yourself – when really, there is no shame about it. After all, you can’t help it.

    I don’t have experience of being in Netherlands but I have heard they are very direct – but then moving to any different culture requires some adjustment. When you are already feeling sensitive, it’s going to feel more difficult. Go easy on yourself.

  3. thoughtsfromthekitchensink says:

    Ah I cried reading this (I’m still hormonal 20 months on from having my son lol).
    I trained in counselling and psychotherapy and some forms of depression are due to low serotonin levels etc and require medication to right them. You weren’t weak at all, you were incredibly strong in asking for help so that you could do the best for yourself, your baby & your family.
    I often think when people judge it’s just through lack of understanding.
    I’ve followed your blog for so long now and I think you’re just amazing coping with everything like you do. I’d be hopeless adjusting to other countries/cultures.
    When the time comes and you have to stay in for 48hrs with your new baby just cocoon yourself with your newborn and try and block out what you worry other’s might think. Those that judge (although hopefully they won’t) you’ll probably never see again anyway & aren’t important in the long term/greater scheme of things. Only you, your new baby and your family are all that matter hun.
    Take care, sending you a big hug xxxx

  4. alison says:

    I understand exactly what you are going through. My mood swings over the last couple of weeks are just not me. I am in tears one minute, happy the next, negative as hell five minutes later. I had heard about hormones, but I know I’m not myself. Just remember you aren’t alone. We are all in the same weird preggo boat.

    I get it with the Dutch. They are a coarse breed. Cold with no spatial awareness and lack of etiquette. For me it’s been hard to move to a new country, get pregnant four weeks later and then with no support network get all these clucky nesting impulses. It’s not my home.

    I think the Dutch are being a bit overzealous about your medication and the baby’s “Withdrawal”, why don’t you check what standard procedure is in the UK for all this. It might put your mind at rest. I think you’ll probably find that because here giving birth is supposed to be a “natural” unmedicalised event that they’d probably do the same if you were on cough syrup for two weeks.

    I love reading your blog. I left my own alone for a month or so and you have given inspiration to write again… It’s been a while.

  5. alison says:

    P.S. – I would trust a dubai based doctor over one of these midwives anyday.. The ones who are used to dealing with demanding expats have to know their stuff. If this guy said the medication was safe in pregnancy. I bet you it is absolutely nothing to worry about.

  6. mumof4 says:

    But think of it like this…. if you were diabetic in pregnancy you would need extra help…. if you were rhesus +/- (never remember which is good/bad) you’d need other steroids. If YOU need the meds, for you then so be it, they know how to treat the baby and that is why they watch carefully for 48hrs. Maybe they could have put it in nicer terms…… I think once you have the 2nd baby you will be so much more confident in what you are doing that you’ll surprise yourself how much easier it is…… but you are also aware of comparing it to last time….
    I only had my babies in USA but different states each time and even that varied things a lot. They never wanted my notes from previous pregnancies which always amazed me…
    Had a friend who lived and worked in Germany many years and she never got used to their coldness…….. hang on in there poppet. xxx

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