I love my wee man but I hate taking him out to eat, not because he misbehaves, he doesn’t but because of the window!!! “What’s the window”?? The Window, my dear friend is the allotted time you have to get in, order your food, have your arrive pay and get out!! The time before it does all kick off and your well-behaved angel turns in to a demonic chucky!!! Eating out with friends that don’t have children affects the window, especially if said friend are indecisive, it sit there smiling sweetly “haha No it fine” secretly thinking if you don’t make a decision soon we will bloody eat YOU!!
Here in the Netherlands they DO NOT understand the concept of the window and too my standards I feel that the service here is appalling. I may be spoilt from our Dubai days, as waiting staff would practically feed you if it meant you were happy. Take today for instance, we go to lake, on the way out there is a wee small refreshment place we table and chairs, we get its dead, we order a hot dog, not even a proper british sausage hot dog one with the fake sausages!! And a ham & cheese toastie. We waited………………….and waited………………………waited…….apparently “something went wrong” yes you’re a gobshite that can’t even toast a sandwich that’s what went wrong!!
You see now LPV is hungry and the “window” is beginning to close, thank the lord for iphones as more often than not this buys a little more time. Luckily the hot dog arrives and it doesn’t taste like shit, so LPV sporadically lifts his head whilst he’s busy on Elmo’s monster maker to eat the delicious nutritious meal *note the sarcasm*. There is still NO Sign of the fecking toastie at this point, the sun goes in and it’s become chilly. Finally the toastie arrives, choruses of angels appear and sing “hallelujah”. we eat it out of principle and leave!!
My guess is that they’re so laid back here, they seem to crack under the pressure of a busy restaurant or a queue (which they don’t do very often either). So maybe I need to change who know’s but Expat daddy’s list of “were never eating here again” is becoming quite long!