Its’ been bothering me quite a lot lately that my wee man is obsessed with his daddy, why shouldn’t he be he has an amazing daddy. Bothering is putting it lightly tho, today I didn’t want to get out of bed to look after a child that what I felt didn’t love me. I know full well they all go through phases so everyone’s keeps telling me but everyone also keep telling me “when they’re ill they want their mammies” Do they?? Mine doesn’t!!

I bonded with LPV the minute I saw the “pregnant” window on my test. I read to him, sang to him, rubbed my tummy at 5am when he got the most horrendous hiccups inside me but the lack of breast-feeding, the PND and the fact I spent more time pumping milk than feeding my newborn bothers me and it always will. I didn’t get to do every feed to look down at gaze lovingly at him while he was feeding, expatdaddy got to do that while I expressed for the next feed, so I could at least get some sleep between feeds. Whenever LPV cries for his daddy all this come rushing back and it breaks my heart. I know full well I’m being silly and I know full well he’s loves me but I can’t help it.

Today I thought I’m not going to dwell on this, I did something about it. He’s poorly with a cough, cold and is dribbling for Ireland with those wretched teeth. So we stayed in warm and cosy and I let him do whatever he wanted, I didn’t force encourage him to play with playdough or colour cos that what other children do. If he wanted to play on the Elmo app on my phone he did, he wanted to watch the Gruffalo, he did but all the while I was there by his side, talking and laughing with him as usual but with my mind completely focused on the task at hand, minus the running commentary in my head about when I’ll cook dinner, have time to blog….. We shared a bath had lots of bedtime stories and cuddles, He even ate his dinner*does victory dance*

So I’ll go to bed tonight happier, he’s going to wake, at the moment it’s inevitable and if he calls for daddy, I will roll over smuggly and go back to sleep, knowing not to give this stupid feeling anymore thought
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4 thoughts on “Bonding

  1. MsXpat says:

    It may a difficult on some days but you are only human. Its understandable you’ll feel this way as you carried him until birth. Who knows why kids bond the way they do with a particular parent, but from this post, don’t doubt that he loves you any less.

    Its the reverse in my house. My son follow me like a shadow and scream bloody murder if he sad tries to put him to sleep or do anything for him when he only wants me. Hubby feels ab it sore about it, but to see them play they are like to big kids,. As for me, I some times wish my son look a bit like me too, lol.

    We are only human. Enjoy your son.

  2. mumofthreeboys says:

    Sounds like you had a lovely day and I’m sure he loves you both just the same.
    My boys are all mummy’s boys and don’t get me wrong I love it but somedays I just wished that it would be daddy they went to to wipe their bums/noses and to ask questions but daddy gets the fun time with them and I just get to clean them after lol.
    Daddy is trying to bond with the now by taking them to gymnastics and running but he’s finding it hard too.
    Your a lovely mummy and do so much for LPV already x x

  3. AmsterdaMummy says:

    Well here’s something for you to think about – I breastfed both my children till they self weaned at approx 9months, so I did have all those months looking down lovingly at their little faces, bonding, but who do they call for when one falls over or hurts themselves – Daddy….

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