Taking the plunge

So tomorrow we are taking the plunge and going to look at a nursery for LPV, he’ll only go for one day a week. Personally I feel we both need the time away, me so I can pee by myself, him because I feel I’m not enough all day everyday for him. It’s killing me, I have this inner battle going on inside me, I know I’m not being selfish but I feel like the worse mother in the world. Now I know there are a lot of parents who send their children to nursery but I expect lots of them work, so it for a reason. I feel like a failure like I can’t cope or I not doing very well so he has to go to daycare.

I spoke to friend in Finland today, she raised a good point, the fact that we are living life as expats makes everything harder, parenting is harder, there’s no quick drop round to Grandma’s for a couple of hours so you can do the shopping. There’s no evenings round your best buds house just to have a cuppa and moan about how tired you are. The fact is were alone, for me the extra guilt is not working and bringing money into the house, again expat life wills it so, the language barrier here in Holland makes this worse for me, I worked teaching pre school in Dubai but the non existent maternity leave made it just easier to give up work and be a SHAM SAHM. Often I think to myself now, what I would do given the opportunity to go back to work, would it be nursing?? teaching?? could I handle other people’s kids now?

There is a back up plan, as well as the nursery tomorrow are looking a round a Peuterspeelzaal which is a dutch playschool that children can go too from aged 2-2 1/2 until school age, hopefully tomorrow we will like it and can put LPV’s name on the list for when he turns two. For some reason the Peuterspeelzaal makes me feel less guilty, I really don’t know whats going on inside my head.

So now to ask something of you, my readers, please nominate us for Go category in The Brilliance in Blogging awards, run by the lovelies over at Britmums, we would love you support!!!
It’s just a few minutes of your time to fill in a wee box.xx
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6 thoughts on “Taking the plunge

  1. Asturian Diary says:

    I know exactly how you feel. I felt exactly the same way when I was thinking about some nursery time for my boy. Now, a few months later, I’m so glad we did it – for him and for me. He loves it, and as an ex-pat baby I think it’s particularly good for him from a language and socialization point of view. And I’ve really appreciated those few hours to myself too which has made me all the better as a mum to him!

  2. Nikki Thomas says:

    You really shouldn’t feel guilty about having some time to yourself! One of the disadvantages of being a SAHM is the fact that you don’t get a break and with no friends and family it must be so hard. Plus remember he will gain from it too so it’s a win win situation!

  3. cel says:

    good luck with this, you must remember you can only help him settle in a playschool or nursery when you remember this is good for BOTH OF YOU, when you have a break from each other ye will always return to each other fresh and enjoy each others company, like having conversation with others,its good to share. and one day he will start school and ye will have to learn to spend time with others, this is easier for lil ones when they are young and interested in new experiences,even if they’re daunting and scary for a while! best of best of luck,find a place yer both happy with xx

  4. jbmumofone says:

    Nursery will be GREAT for him. Mixing with other kids, learning a new language, developing social skills. Don’t feel guilty honey. I think it sounds brilliant, especially for him…and if it gives you some time too then even better x

  5. Frau Welle says:

    I’m in the same position as you are. I’m looking for a nursery or other day care for my 16-month-old daughter, although I am SAHM. We are expats in Germany and my husband travels a lot. I really feel like I need an arrangement, where I can get a few hours to myself every now and then. And for our daughter, I think it would be good for her to interact with other kids and to be able to learn German as young as possible.
    So, good luck with the nursery!
    And I must add that there really are some wise people in Finland 😉

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