So tomorrow we are taking the plunge and going to look at a nursery for LPV, he’ll only go for one day a week. Personally I feel we both need the time away, me so I can pee by myself, him because I feel I’m not enough all day everyday for him. It’s killing me, I have this inner battle going on inside me, I know I’m not being selfish but I feel like the worse mother in the world. Now I know there are a lot of parents who send their children to nursery but I expect lots of them work, so it for a reason. I feel like a failure like I can’t cope or I not doing very well so he has to go to daycare.
I spoke to friend in Finland today, she raised a good point, the fact that we are living life as expats makes everything harder, parenting is harder, there’s no quick drop round to Grandma’s for a couple of hours so you can do the shopping. There’s no evenings round your best buds house just to have a cuppa and moan about how tired you are. The fact is were alone, for me the extra guilt is not working and bringing money into the house, again expat life wills it so, the language barrier here in Holland makes this worse for me, I worked teaching pre school in Dubai but the non existent maternity leave made it just easier to give up work and be a
SHAM SAHM. Often I think to myself now, what I would do given the opportunity to go back to work, would it be nursing?? teaching?? could I handle other people’s kids now?
There is a back up plan, as well as the nursery tomorrow are looking a round a Peuterspeelzaal which is a dutch playschool that children can go too from aged 2-2 1/2 until school age, hopefully tomorrow we will like it and can put LPV’s name on the list for when he turns two. For some reason the Peuterspeelzaal makes me feel less guilty, I really don’t know whats going on inside my head.
So now to ask something of you, my readers, please nominate us for Go category in The Brilliance in Blogging awards, run by the lovelies over at Britmums, we would love you support!!!
It’s just a few minutes of your time to fill in a wee box.xx