So today I thought I would take my wee man to Mass at our local church, Fr Christopher who married us is awesome priest and has brought the parish way into the 21st century and has made mass very child friendly, well child friendly if you’re not LPV.
It started well, had some good advice to take activities, so doing as I was told mamma packed crayons, paper, Timmy time books and of course Mr Potato head who was very well-behaved and sat on the pew like the good King Edward he is. We did some crayoning= happy quiet baby, we did some reading= happy quiet baby, we played with potato head=happy quiet baby.
At this point Fr calls for the children to come up to the altar where they sit and talk about the gospel, LPV thought he’d go too, I followed. He stood there like an angel whilst Fr was talking, clapping his hands, completely taking the attention from the sermon and landing it on himself…. Of course everyone was there to watch him. He then decided to go for wander with me chasing (trying to Holy behind him). We find statue of “Our Lady” Hiya LPV says, waving. When he was sure he wasn’t getting a response from her, he decided to raid the money basket beneath the candles for lighting. At this I was praying that he hadn’t spotted the communion wine!!
I took him out to the narfix to let him explore without disturbing anyone elses worship, and that’s when it happened, the concentration face, stopped dead in the tracks………. Yes my son was pooping in the house of god. Mortified I then had to take my stinky little man through the church into the hall at the back where I could change him. there he led bare arsed with The Pope & St Bernadette watching over him.
What did I get from my time at mass today??? A valuable lesson that has taught me that I am not attending mass on Christmas day with my child, I will go to midnight mass on Christmas eve….alone!!!!!