Poolside stereotype

Fellow bloggers such as Mothersontheverge, Mrsmadison, dubaihousewife do an amazing job of summing up the different er.. personalities that co habit here in Dubai and they’re my blogging inspiration for this post. Believe me I am not going to try to follow in their genius footsteps but I am going to share with the regular stereotype that frequents my pool!!

Now I have to explain that I tend to swim at night this is cos, expatdaddy is at home, no one can see my cellulite, there are less out of control brats (sorry but they are) around the pool!! I love the peace & quiet and there seems to be less or NO Dubai elite around the pool. I am a strong believer that there are people put on this earth purely to make us feel bad about ourselves (whether they know it or not) and the Dubai elite are those people!! They could be the nicest people on earth but you tell yourself they are horrible as no-one could be that perfect!!

The female DE

  • She walks around the pool in heat of 45+ heat without one bit of frizz in her hair or sweat on her face
  • She’s wearing a swimsuit so tiny it was obviously a band-aid in it former life (fair play she is recycling). She looks so amazing that even the stray cats look at you with sympathy when you remove your towel to display a “tankini” that hide post baby signs
  • She floats in and out of the pool resembling  007 leading lady, you try to get out sucking in your stomach as tight as you can and holding it to avoid the post baby skin drop that could cause a small earth quake
  • She glides up and down the pool, hair still in tact whilst you swim up and down panting looking like drowned rat reject from the learn to swim adverts of the 80’s (wondering whether you should as her what her diet tips are)
  • You ask her diet tips (gutted she’s the friendliest person on earth), she survives on lettuce, cigarettes, water & Moet!!
  • On your residents visa it reads housewife not allowed to work, on hers it say “House wife soul destroyer”

It really does say that on my residence visa and now I’m using it to my full advantage, it also says “not allowed to work” on LPV’s so we are letting him off paying his way at the moment!!

 

 

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